Heart Hands: Stop Doing This Immediately

Since time immemorial, heart hands have been so stupid. Wicked stupid. It’s time to remember that important life lesson.

For anyone out there who has lived in the blissful ignorance of this gesture: it is when someone (or two people) form curves with their hands and place them together to form a heart. If you’re Taylor Swift or one of her devoted followers, form all the heart hands you want. Go nuts. Keep it in the concert venue, though. We don’t need you polluting Instagram, anymore.

What’s the problem with them, you may ask. Well, first of all, what do they even mean? Do you love something? Are you thanking someone? Are you indicating you like something? Do you have debilitating arthritis (in which case, we are so sorry)? Regardless, we need you to use your words.

Next, let’s talk about how shallow a gesture this is. This doesn’t mean love. Forcing your husband to make these foolish hearts all over the place while you’re on vacation is just allowing you to bury yourself in your phone instead of enjoying your vacation. You’re not in the moment. and you’re not actually celebrating your love for him. You’re not even looking at him!

Unless you’re part of the age demographic that was recently at high-risk of consuming Tide Pods, you are old enough to put your phone down.

Call us cynical. Call us negative. You are not wrong, but we want to point out that (a) we’ve been called worse and (b) you still look silly.

Every trend has its moment, and the moment for this one has long passed. If you don’t think you look foolish now, think about any footage you’ve deleted of yourself planking, your Farmville farm you wouldn’t tell anyone about, and the lolcat memes you purged from your Facebook.

Do yourself a favor and get your cleanse started today.